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Fantastic Four
Fantastic Four 1994
It’s time for yet another classic cheesy movie goodness, and while this is the newest of these movies that I’ve seen, being from the 90’s, the fact that the budget was so low that it looks and feels at least five years older than what it actually is. If there’s one piece of trivia that any superhero movie fan knows it’s this Fantastic Four movie directed by Roger Corman. It was never intended to be released in theaters or even on home video, the studio decided that it was worth the small budget that they gave the movie in order to retain the rights to the Fantastic Four so they could make a better version of the movie in the near future. This is the exact same reason why all of the recent non-Marvel studio movies are being rebooted and churned out so quickly. If they didn’t make these movies then Fox, Sony, and whatever other studio would lose the rights to make another movie using those characters. But while it was never intended to be released, no one that actually worked on the movie knew that fact so they all put their full effort into it, just at a dirt cheap salary.
Flash Gordon
Flash Gordon 1980
As I continue my venture into the great chasm of cheesy superhero movies I decided to seek out the 1980 movie of Flash Gordon. There was very little about this movie that I knew of going into it. I knew the hero was named Flash Gordon, the villain was named Ming the Merciless, Queen did the theme song which I had heard, and of all people my older sister actually gave it her endorsement. I do have a Facebook account, but I only use it for old friends and family. I posted about the poll I had on what to watch, mentioning the cheesy movies like Flash Gordon was tied with X-Men and my sister wrote “Flash Gordon isn’t cheesy, it’s awesome!” After watching it, I agree. It’s awesome, horribly horribly awesome. This movie made me laugh harder and more often than the Avengers. There was so much wrong with this movie, but it played it all so earnestly I just had to buy into it.
Howard the Duck
Howard the Duck 1986
There was only two things I really remembered about this movie before I picked it up on clearance at a used DVD store for about two bucks: I had watched it when I was younger, and I recently skimmed a review for it that had a picture of duck boobs from it. Based on that alone, my wife was against letting Jena watch it with us. But ever since we brought the DVD home, she has been interested in the movie based on the cover artwork alone. My wife was upstairs going to bed early, it was late, my review is due in a couple hours to meet my own personal deadline (which I’ll be about an hour late on), the movie is rated PG, so we started watching it together. Jena’s one word review of Howard the Duck: “Fantastic”. I’m glad I let her watch it with me, it may not be a stellar parenting choice, but I’m ok with it. And while there is that moment of pseudo-nudity, it’s presented in a non-sexual manner, and she is a girl after all. Howard the Duck managed to combine adult themes, childish humor, minor amounts of action, and a love story between a human and a duck. It was bad, but based on the reactions of my daughter, and my wife who came down halfway through the movie, it was worth it. (note: running behind, pics will be added tomorrow)
Moonwalker
Moonwalker 1988
If you’ve never heard of this movie, you may very well be wondering why I’m reviewing a movie featuring Michael Jackson and a bunch of music videos that wasn’t even released in theaters. And I have a few reasons for you. The biggest reason is that in this movie, Michael Jackson sees himself as a superhero plain and simple. Another reason is that in my memory I think I had played up the superhero portion of this movie more than it actually was. And as for why I’m reviewing a direct-to-video movie? Kudos on knowing this site well enough that you read my initial list of movies. When I started this site, the plan was to watch and review at least 100 theatrically released superhero movies this year. In the past few months working on this site, I’ve expanded my focus. I’m posting something seven times a week, including three movie reviews. I want to keep doing this past just the first year, but I also don’t want to waste all the good movies too soon. So over the next few months I’ll be reviewing more straight to video movies including many of the well-made animated movies from Marvel and DC. I’ll also at some point be adding reviews for more heroic movies that aren’t quite superhero movies, like fantasy or sci-fi movies under the heading “Almost Super”. But I think this movie qualifies as a cheesy superhero movie, if only just barely. It’s definitely got the cheese portion covered.
Masters of the Universe
Masters of the Universe 1987
First off, I’d like to thank everyone who voted in my poll, it was a very close race but in the end most of you wanted to see me review some classic cheesy superhero movies. I’m not sure if some of you wanted to torture me with bad movies, or if you are more like myself and actually enjoy watching these low budget (or in some cases high budget) over the top cheesy superhero flicks. I have a lot to choose from but I went with a movie that was actually on the list of 33 of the worst superhero movies ever made. Of course, it wasn’t one of the movies that I chose because I enjoyed it a lot when I was younger, and ever since it was mentioned, I’ve been dying to watch it again. It’s got Dolph Lundgren as a guy who never wears a shirt, playing a character who usually only wields a sword, and yet he manages to grab as many huge laser guns as he can get a hold of. It’s got the great Billy Barty playing comic relief, and it’s Courtney Cox’s feature film debut. And yet it takes itself so seriously that you just have to get wrapped up in it all, and for the first time in quite a while, Jena actually sat with us and was invested during the entire movie. She cheered for He-Man and booed Skeletor, saying she hated “the stupid skeleton guy” and that she would “break his bones”. It was great seeing her get so worked up.
Flights, Tights, and Movie Nights 