Almost Super: P.U.N.K.S. 1999

I have gone back and forth on whether or not to write something about this film here on this site, but since I had gone almost two weeks without writing anything here, I figured I might as well get something out of the time I spent watching this movie. Since this is a niche movie site, I have certain criteria on what films I review for this site, but the definition of “superhero movie” is nebulous at best so sometimes a short description of a movie sounds like it could fit this site, but when I watch it, it actually doesn’t. I was trying to start watching some kids movies based on a Twitter poll I posted a week or so ago gauging what I should watch next for this site, and P.U.N.K.S. is on YouTube so that’s what I went for. Needless to say, it’s a pretty bad film even if it does have the likes of Randy Quaid, Henry Winkler, and a young Jessica Alba.

The movie itself is standard kid fare, it even has Patrick Renna, the perennial 90’s freckle-faced fat kid from the Sandlot and the Big Green among other movies. There’s kids play-wrestling in their room complete with cartoon sound effects, a kid computer whiz who can hack into a corporate computer with ease, and a tomboy who doesn’t initially fit in with the group because she’s a girl. We also get Henry Winkler playing a capital E evil corporate boss who doesn’t care about his workers, he just wants to get this strength boosting backpack to work so he can sell it to the highest bidder, while the literally bleeding heart scientist played by Randy Quaid just wants to use it to cure people with paralysis. Technically not bleeding heart, but he does have a heart condition.

It follows plenty of other story tropes besides those. We eventually get a group of five misfit kids where most of them get bullied to some extent. But they manage to group together to infiltrate the lead kid’s father’s work to steal this experimental backpack. It does give them super powers to a certain extent, but aside from giving their entire team the code name P.U.N.K.S. based on their initials, there’s not really any other trappings of a superhero movie. There’s also the trope where the team splits up when things get tough, but come back together to help the lead kid out when he gets in trouble. There’s not really anything of note from the humor, to the action, to anything else. Pretty lame all around. Until next time, this has been Bubbawheat for Flights, Tights, and Movie Nights.