Super Heroes The Movie
Super Heroes The Movie 1998
I was in the mood for an ultra low budget cheesy superhero film and there are still quite a few of them available on Amazon Prime. When looking at the trailer for this film apparently it was made in 1998 but the original copy was lost in a fire that destroyed the negatives, and just recently a VHS copy of the film was discovered so the producer made it available on Amazon. It’s probably most notable at this point because Lisa Guerrero plays Wonderful Woman and is now a lead correspondent on Inside Edition. The film overall is a pretty direct parody of Super Friends with all the heroes and villains named just a few letters off of their DC counterparts though for some reason they still call the Wonder Twins the Wonder Twins only changing their individual names to Zana and Jan. The special effects are atrocious, the costumes feel like they were either pulled from a costume shop or cut with felt and scissors. But it was hilariously bad and an absolute treat to watch.
The movie revolves around a couple different plot points, on one side of things the government is dissolving the Super Crew and the International House of Justice. On the other side of things is the appearance of an entity from the fifth dimension named Bob. Bob spends most of his time on screen explaining how he’s basically the parody version of Mr. Mxyzptlk and to defeat Mxyzptlk in the comics you only had to trick him into saying his name backwards, something that is basically impossible since Bob is a palindrome. Other than that, Bob doesn’t really have any notable powers other than being able to appear and disappear a few times and he pulls a gun away from his henchman through telekinesis.
Most of the humor is sex or relationship related. After the Super Crew get the news of their dissolution they go off and deal with it in different ways. Ratman and Sparrow take Superbman along with them to the bar to pick up chicks while Superbman pines away for Wonderful Woman. Their relationship ended because she found another woman on top of him while they were dating. Other than that, it’s just a lot of banter until they end up at their private island where they have sex (seemingly completely clothed and completely off screen based on what is shown on camera) and Superbman mentions that the condom broke and Wonderful Woman immediately says that if she gets pregnant she’s keeping the baby. It’s all complete Real World style drama only put on fast forward as there’s only 80 minutes in the film to get through it all.
There are plenty of other just completely random jokes along with the overly typical making fun of the uselessness of Aguaman. One of the best gags is after Bob recruits a mafia muscle from a poor parody of the Godfather played by the same actor who plays Superbman. When they show up at the IHOJ, the only heroes in the front are the Wonder Twins who go through their little routine to turn into things and the muscle shoots one of them and the other is stuck as a bucket of water because she can’t change back without the help of her twin. The other odd moments are when Bob first tries to recruit their parody of the Hall of Doom except they’re all slacker stoners, when Bob does get a couple henchmen they see Ratman having sex with the woman he picked up at the bar and they spend extra time just watching them, and just the overall concept of the new recruit Moth Boy who ate a radioactive moth but is seemingly just a well built guy in a tank top. He does get a brief moment to shine when he comes to save the day in one of the most bizarre and elaborate gags in the entire movie. All of the non-powered heroes are tied up along with Zana as a bucket of water, they get the idea to have Aguaman send a message through Zana-as-water and pour her down the sink so she can make her way to the ocean and get the message to dolphins and then Moth Boy. Unfortunately the sink is clogged, at least the half that he poured her into. The water has already been shut off so Aguaman pees in the other sink to overflow it and allow Zana-as-water to move herself to the other half of the sink and out to the ocean. And after all that, Moth Boy comes back and is able to save them from the Vile Temptress because he’s gay.
There is just so much that’s bizarre and hilariously bad about this film, from the incredibly cheap and obvious green screen effect of Superbman’s flying and Wonderful Woman just sitting down in her invisible helicopter while her overlaid image is clearly moved along the screen which are really the only special effects in the entire movie. It’s actually quite charming some of the other little bits like the henchman Toy Boy is wearing one of those beanies with the propellers and there are several moments in the movie where you can visibly see one of the other actors standing near him spin the propeller with their hand. The plot is so ridiculous that it’s hilarious and it moves so quickly that there aren’t really any slow points. If you’re someone who doesn’t appreciate the completely absurd and low budget humor than this movie is definitely not for you, but if you’re someone who appreciates low budget schlock like Birdemic or Troll 2, this is definitely worth an hour and a half of your time. Until next time, this has been Bubbawheat for Flights, Tights, and Movie Nights.